Dementia: staying engaged and connected

Step by step

1. 1

   Step 1: Lead with music they grew up with

   Familiar songs from someone's youth reach further than almost anything else, and often keep working when other kinds of recall have faded. They arrive with the time attached: where they were, who they were with. Start there rather than with instructions, and you will often get participation you were not expecting.

   Learn more: Music and memory: why an old song does so much
2. 2

   Step 2: Keep the movements short and repeat them

   Clap to the beat, sway side to side, reach up and out, tap the feet. Say the action aloud as you do it and do it together, so there is a pattern to follow rather than an instruction to remember. Seated throughout is completely fine and usually better.

   Learn more: Dementia-friendly movement
3. 3

   Step 3: Keep everything familiar

   The same room, the same faces, the same shape to the session, at the same time each week. Predictability lowers anxiety, and lower anxiety is what makes joining in possible at all. Novelty is rarely the gift it seems; familiarity is.

   Learn more: Memory and cognition: how social clubs help
4. 4

   Step 4: Follow their energy on the day

   Some days will go better than others and that is not a failure of anything. Celebrate joining in rather than getting it right, let them set the pace, and let a quiet day be a quiet day. Correcting someone rarely helps; going along with where they are usually does.

   Learn more: Meaning and belonging in healthy ageing
5. 5

   Step 5: Keep the company, and look after the carer

   Connection is doing as much work here as any activity. Keep them among people rather than apart. And if you are the carer, your own rest, company and support are not an indulgence; they are what makes it possible to keep going. This is a supportive activity approach for wellbeing and connection, not a medical therapy, and care decisions belong with your doctor.

   Learn more: Stress: what it is, and why not all of it is bad

All topics in this guide

• Dementia-friendly movement
• Music and memory: why an old song does so much
• Memory and cognition: how social clubs help
• Meaning and belonging in healthy ageing
• Stress: what it is, and why not all of it is bad

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