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Questions to ask your doctor, and how to be heard

Reviewed by Dr Namrata Bagaria, MBBS, MPH (Harvard)Last reviewed

5-step guide

Ten minutes goes quickly and older women are listened to less than they should be. How to get what you need from an appointment.

Step by step

  1. Step 1: Write three things down before you go

    Not ten. Three, in order of what worries you most, on paper you can hand over. Appointments run short and the thing you were most anxious about is frequently the one raised at the door, when there is no time left for it.

    Learn more: Ten essentials of healthy ageing
  2. Step 2: Say the frightening thing first

    Doctors work from what you lead with. If the real worry is that this might be serious, say so at the start rather than circling it. Being direct is not being difficult, and it gets you a better ten minutes.

    Learn more: Stress: what it is, and why not all of it is bad
  3. Step 3: Refuse being told it is just your age

    A great deal that gets attributed to ageing is treatable: exhaustion, low mood, breathlessness, pain, sleeping badly, memory changes. Common at 70 is not the same as normal at 70. It is entirely reasonable to ask what else could be causing this.

    Learn more: Sleep: which kind of poor sleeper are you?
  4. Step 4: Ask four questions about anything proposed

    What is this for. What happens if I do nothing. What are the side effects. And how will we know whether it is working. Those four apply to a tablet, a scan or an operation, and they turn being treated into taking part.

    Learn more: Blood pressure in women, and why it changes after 55
  5. Step 5: Bring the list and a second pair of ears

    Take a current list of everything you take, including anything bought without a prescription. Take somebody with you for anything significant, because two people remember more than one. And ask for it written down if you are not sure you have followed it.

    Learn more: Meaning and belonging in healthy ageing

Other guides you may like

Sources

The guidance on this page draws on the following.

  1. Social care and support guide(opens in a new tab)

    NHS · 2025

    Supports: Preparing for appointments and knowing what to ask.

  2. Ageing and health(opens in a new tab)

    World Health Organization · 2024

    Supports: Why continuity and communication matter in care for older adults.