Questions to ask your doctor, and how to be heard
Reviewed by Dr Namrata Bagaria, MBBS, MPH (Harvard)Last reviewed
Ten minutes goes quickly and older women are listened to less than they should be. How to get what you need from an appointment.
Step by step
Step 1: Write three things down before you go
Not ten. Three, in order of what worries you most, on paper you can hand over. Appointments run short and the thing you were most anxious about is frequently the one raised at the door, when there is no time left for it.
Learn more: Ten essentials of healthy ageingStep 2: Say the frightening thing first
Doctors work from what you lead with. If the real worry is that this might be serious, say so at the start rather than circling it. Being direct is not being difficult, and it gets you a better ten minutes.
Learn more: Stress: what it is, and why not all of it is badStep 3: Refuse being told it is just your age
A great deal that gets attributed to ageing is treatable: exhaustion, low mood, breathlessness, pain, sleeping badly, memory changes. Common at 70 is not the same as normal at 70. It is entirely reasonable to ask what else could be causing this.
Learn more: Sleep: which kind of poor sleeper are you?Step 4: Ask four questions about anything proposed
What is this for. What happens if I do nothing. What are the side effects. And how will we know whether it is working. Those four apply to a tablet, a scan or an operation, and they turn being treated into taking part.
Learn more: Blood pressure in women, and why it changes after 55Step 5: Bring the list and a second pair of ears
Take a current list of everything you take, including anything bought without a prescription. Take somebody with you for anything significant, because two people remember more than one. And ask for it written down if you are not sure you have followed it.
Learn more: Meaning and belonging in healthy ageing
All topics in this guide
Other guides you may like
Low mood and worry: what helps day to day
Everyday habits that support mood and ease worry, and clear pointers on when to stop managing alone and speak to your doctor.
Blood pressure: everyday habits that help
Move, muscle, meals, mind and measure: the five everyday things that keep blood pressure steady. Lifestyle guidance, not a substitute for your doctor.
Sources
The guidance on this page draws on the following.
Social care and support guide(opens in a new tab)
NHS · 2025
Supports: Preparing for appointments and knowing what to ask.
Ageing and health(opens in a new tab)
World Health Organization · 2024
Supports: Why continuity and communication matter in care for older adults.
